With Ron DeSantis now out of the presidential race, I’m thinking about this one anecdote I heard on a recent episode of The Run-Up podcast.
Nicholas Nehamas
we were at a coffee shop, big, packed coffee shop, and this young woman, she’s 15 years old, she raises her hand to ask him a question.
Archived Recording 3
So, if you have a mental-health disorder and you can’t work in the military, what all does that include, because a lot —
Nicholas Nehamas
And she starts saying that she wants to serve in the military.
Archived Recording 3
I’m only 15, so this may not matter as much. I can’t legally vote. But I struggle with major depressive disorder —
Archived Recording (Ron Desantis)
Well, it’s never stopped the other party from letting you vote, so I’ll just, you know, put that out. Go ahead.
Archived Recording 3
And I suffer with anxiety, and —
Nicholas Nehamas
But she has depression, and she’s wondering if that will disqualify her from serving. And before she can really get that question out, he makes a joke about her age, and says, oh, the Democrats would let you vote.
Archived Recording 3
What if I want to work in the military, but I cannot, because of these mental-health disorders that I have?
Nicholas Nehamas
And then she starts talking about her depression.
Archived Recording (Ron Desantis)
I think, at the end of the day, when you’re dealing with the military, what it’s all about is they have certain things that they need, and —
Nicholas Nehamas
To me, as an observer, it really seemed like a moment for a skilled candidate to say, that is so brave of you to open up. I’m so glad you want to serve your country.
Archived Recording (Ron Desantis)
But there are gonna be some criteria for both physical and mental that are done, and it’s all about just whatever the best for the unit is, and then try to do that. So I’ll take a look over —
Nicholas Nehamas
And, instead, he gave this answer, a very quick answer, about unit cohesion and how important it is. And I talked to this young woman after the event, and she was really taken aback by the whole experience, and she said she had asked the question because she was inspired by his discussion of how he had served in the military. So, just the whole campaign feels like it’s littered with these missed opportunities to connect with voters as human beings.
(Here is a video clip of Ron DeSantis discussing whether empathy is a necessary trait for a U.S. President. I will leave it to you to decide how convincing he sounds.)
For contrast, here is a story about/from Rabbi Yosef Zvi Rimon, an emerging rabbinic leader in Israel. As an educator, pastor, and community organizer, he is known for a personality and approach steeped in empathy.
In a recent interview on the Headlines podcast, Rabbi Rimon retold the well-reported story in which he heard from an IDF unit that was scheduled for a 24-hour break from the front lines at a base inside Israel one Friday noon through Shabbat noon, when it would return to the fighting in Gaza.
One of the soldiers in the unit asked Rabbi Rimon if their families would be allowed to see them at their base over this break if it meant them driving back home on Shabbat. The soldier explained that they had not seen their wives and young children for several weeks since they were first deployed, and who knows when - if - they would see them again if they missed this opportunity.
Rabbi Rimon reflected:
sometimes as a Rebbe I feel stuck because I want them so much to be together, of course they must be together, but what I can do - Shabbes! And when something like this happens, you have to do two things. First, of all to pray. And secondly, to think outside of the box..
He asked the solider if there was a hotel near the base, and, with the serendipitous financial support of a congregation from Teaneck, NJ, whose rabbi happened to be in the car while he took the call, a full Shabbat (meals, rooms, toys for the children, books to read and study) was quickly organized for 40 families - 180 women and children - that were completely floored by the care and concern that was shown to them and their well-being.1
Rabbi Rimon spoke about the heartfelt, emotional thanks he received from these soldiers and their families. He concluded:
when you hear this, you understand how it’s so important - sometimes you have to give the halachic (Jewish legal) answer, and sometimes, when the halacha cannot allow, think outside of the box and, be'ezrat Hashem (with God's help) and to have siyata dishmaya (Divine assistance) to do other things..
It would have been easy to just answer the question as it was posed.
Q: Can our wives and children drive to the base to see us if it means driving home on Shabbat?
A: Sorry, but no.
Rabbi Rimon saw through the question to the human being who asked it. Ron DeSantis, it seems, never was able to get there.
The hotel, in Ashkelon, had been closed due to ongoing rocket barrages coming from Gaza, so this was also unexpected financial and moral support for the owner and staff.